- ********: Are...you okay with me?
- Me: Omg, I'm beyond okay with you!!!!
- Me: If I saw you every day for the rest of my life, I would not complain.
- ********: Awwwww. I'm gonna cry.
- Me: Aww, why?
- ********: Coz you're such a sweetie.
- Me: Uhh okay, if you say so!
SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG.
- It happened
- Now we can't turn back the hands of time
- Yes we've stolen this moment
- We forgot to face one simple thing
- You belong to me for just one night
- As we slept the night away
- My love can't you see
- How loving you is killing me
- You see I can't be in your life
- You gotta go home to your wife
- Oh it's morning
Just ‘cuz I need it.
I’m so annoyed at myself because I can’t stop thinking about Geoffrey. C’MON, JAPSIE!!!!! Get that sh*t out of you head ‘cuz there’s so many things wrong with that picture, I don’t even know where to begin.
So then I try to think of something much better - Eric. But that goes to crap because I realize, that’s not any better at all. I can’t even bear to look at Facebook anymore in case something comes up on my feed. ‘Cuz let’s face it, I cannot deal. I cannot deal with the jealousy of the simple fact that I’m not there. It’s not me.
So once that depresses me enough, I think of something else that takes my mind off Eric. But I find myself back with thoughts of Geoffrey.
It’s a vicious cycle that not only does not end, but it gets worse and worse with each iteration.
I am so thankful that I met Tiffany. We’ve had many great talks and also just random enjoyable moments. It’s really helped with my transition to being back in the Bay Area. I really don’t know what I would be doing without her and as I told her last night, I would probably be going crazy. So thank you, for being my therapist, for letting me vent, for all the terrible advice and most of all, for never once making me feel like I am insane.
And not even a bad mood. Just…in a mood.
I just want to be alone. In a corner. Mulling over everything that I’m not happy with in my life. It may take a while. Friends, I’ll be MIA for a couple of weeks. Maybe. You’ll find me here. Venting. Or in my bed watching YouTube.